Marriage has been a building block of society for many centuries and a milestone that has been celebrated with anticipation. However, there are times when those unions do not create a happy partnership and divorce enters the discussion. During the Gilded Age, divorce was less prevalent than it is currently in our society, but it was a period in our country’s history when divorce rates were increasing and faster than they were in Europe. Despite this, divorce was still a topic rife with controversy and stigma.

During the 19th century, marriage was widely viewed as a permanent institution and a building block of family, religion and society. Divorce often was seen as a failure and socially shameful as one broke with the traditional pattern of life. However, divorce was legal and available if the “injured party” could prove under legally recognized grounds that a divorce was necessary. The legal grounds varied from state to state but the most common were adultery, abandonment, extreme cruelty and chronic drunkenness. This is referred to as fault-based divorce where one party must be proven at fault. 

The stigma surrounding divorce could be harsh for women. Traditional gender expectations emphasized marriage, motherhood, domesticity, and female obedience. A divorced woman could be judged as having failed regardless of the circumstances that led to divorce. Men were also more likely to be granted divorces than women when bringing similar cases before a court. A man who had a mistress or intimate relationships with other women was not punished as harshly as a woman who did the same. Again, women were held to a higher standard. 
Women in general were also at a disadvantage legally as laws put husbands in greater control over property and children and left women with no independent legal status. Marriage and divorce law reform became a platform for some women’s rights activists who argued change was needed to give women greater legal protection and independence. Their goals were to broaden the grounds for divorce, grant women access and custody of their children, and allow women the right to own property and control their wages. 

Social class was also a large determining factor in one’s ability to obtain a divorce. Wealthy Americans had greater access to lawyers, court proceedings, travel, and the financial resources to establish residency in states with more lenient divorce laws. However, divorce was not exclusively an upper-class privilege. By the late 19th century, working-class and middle-class Americans were also increasingly represented in divorce courts, although the financial burden of pursuing a divorce could make the process more difficult for poorer individuals. This was especially true for women who did not have money or resources of their own separate from their husbands.

One of the most famous divorces of the Gilded Age was that of William Kissam Vanderbilt and Alva Vanderbilt. William was Cornelius Vanderbilt’s grandson and the two were married in 1875. However, the marriage was not a happy one. William was habitually unfaithful to Alva, but infidelity in the upper class among men was not unheard of and was not condemned socially if it was discreet. This did not sit well with Alva, who always pushed against archaic notions of society. In early 1894 Alva asked for a divorce, against the advice of family, friends and legal counsel. Divorce among the upper elite was not common and was scandalous and subject to very public scrutiny, not to mention the possibility of loss of money. Despite this, Alva was granted a divorce in March of 1894 and received an unprecedented settlement of over $10 million, custody of her children and ownership of multiple residences. 

Divorce in Gilded Age America was happening with more frequency but was still socially sensitive. It was believed marriage should last a lifetime, and divorce would damage your reputation and that of your family. Yet, changing laws, women’s rights activism and famous divorces such as Alva Vanderbilt’s showed that traditional attitudes were starting to be challenged.